A new start

I gave my heart to a girl i met
A girl whose gone away
if i could take it back and try again
My heart with her would stay

And never leave
In this truth i do believe

Even though i failed this time
A second chance might prove true
To show how much my love can mean
And give it all to you.

I'd deny fate
Simply to show it's not to late

Listen now, and don't look back
This is not some plea
I know things can't be the same
You'll never be with me

I walk alone
This is the truth I'm shown

But that doesn't mean my love can't try
and i can't wish it to be strong
and when the day is done again
You'll miss me before long

And thats the truth
Never forget the dreams of youth

For now i've had a chance to go
and give my dreams a second chance
And if you saw me in the moonlight
With me you'd surely dance

and love would find
Eternally together it would bind

But everything is gone now
and time has moved so fast
The bonds of love are broken
The chains just can not last

But i love you
And thats all i know to do

So heres my final song for you
a dream i pray makes right
For if a dream can turn to truth
My heart it may take flight

and soar so high
But i know my heart may die

So heres a chance right now
To tell you how i feel
The moments may have passed away
But the memories are so real

I wont forget
and never could regret

So one last verse before the end
I'll tell you what i know
So long as i may smile
For you joy I'll always show

Real or not
This feeling is all I've got.

Make me shine

Show me the way to light
My terrified friend
I've forgotten what its like
To feel loved again

So long I've walked so straight
And never looked back
Its hard to veer from fate
I think i may rest now

How many moments do we try
Before things just turn gray
How long before we die?
And everythings ok?

I wont fight you
If you really want to leave
Theres nothing left to do
Don't you know?

Just forget me
Im not all that special
Why can't you see?
My love is all that made me shine?

Memories of kisses

I see memories touched on those lips
Those lips i once loved to kiss
The memories bring me such sorrow
Though the actions once brought me such bliss

Why are the day's numbered now
As we look back and count them down?
I once saw a dream in the future
Though now in the past i drown

Given a chance to live it again
I know I'd follow the same whim
Though my life once seemed so perfect
Now it all feels so grim

Give me one last kiss
Touch me with those lips so soft
Poison them before your kiss
So my soul may be sent aloft

Because i love you

I've had enough of holding back
all the things i know I lack
The faith dwindles thin as air
sometimes i think you just dont care

One more thing down on my list
now i think you get the jist
Don't come to me when your in pain
'cause things can never be the same

I tried to love you, yes I did
You ran, and then you hid
Did you think i could let go?
tilt my head and say i didn't know?

They say things happen for a reason
But to my heart it still feels like treason
Don't turn and walk away
'cause i can't beg you to stop and stay

Now the moments gone to hell
I'll just retreat into my shell
Pretend i never saw you smile
Feign hate, but i'll still love you all the while

That is the fate i know
And I'll never let you go

Because i love you.

Once i held confidence
That love was strong
I knew the day's were short
But my dreams were ever long

Then i found the women
Who brought me to my knee's
Now i realize i was clueless
Didn't know of all the fee's

Let it go
Let the dreams fade away
The moments are gone
Though the pain will stay

Crimson lips

Crimson lips
On cigarettes
Whisper to your ear
"Come on boy, take a chance
chase me without fear"

A gentle voice
You have no choice
Listen to her plee
"run on by, you cant escape
Let your heart run free"

Now cast your smile
though it'll take a while
She'll soon sing your song
"Love me, it feels so right
Though i know its truly wrong"

Kiss her lips
her finger tips
Make her sing for you
"Love? don't hold your breath
You know i'll never be true"

100

one hundred lines write in blood
Must stay my hand against the flood
To dream the dreams that give way to black
The images is tainted by the deepened crack

lose myself in the moment of time
lost dreams forgotten in the rhyme
Have a moment to rest your soul
Take a breath, it is beyond control

have you smiled today while you had the chance?
Or did you let yourself frown and blow off romance
Given the choice i think most would pass
on a chance to relax and admire the grass

But don't be fooled by the images luster
When you've been caught naked don't hide the fluster
Its just a dream, wake up it will be alright
Remember it when your soul takes flight.

Memory of nothing

Though tomorow i'll be to gone to wave
And tonight im so close i'll cry
I wanted to say i love you
Before i walk the road to die

And though at midnight i'll be missing
And yesterday fills with dreams
Hold on just a moment longer
Tomorrow's closer than it seems

Let me kiss you one last time
And drink in a small moment of glee
Is it so wrong to miss you?
When you've run away from me?

So when i dissapear into darkness
And all i am becomes a memory
Remember that i've always loved you
Remember that, and soon you'll see

Its not that i got forgotten
or that time just got to thin
Its just that things are so hard
This game's impossible to win

Couldn't you say goodbye?
I held on so very tight
My knuckles losing color
The skin burning paper white

Leave things as they are
and let my dreams fade to black
Remember all I've loved
And all the things i lack

Placing bets

Look deep into my soul
And note that little grin
Though the odds are against me
There is no doubt i'll win

Would you believe me
If i told you i was right?
No, i dont believe you would
Thus your heart takes flight


Fight me on it,
Let me know
Love me forever
Or let me go

Nows the time to choose
I wont stand idle and cry
Dont turn me down this time
I dont want to hear the lie

Sure you did
And you loved me as well
And the whole time we're together
Everything was swell


but now its over
and i see so clear
Never did we have a chance
Because me you'll always fear

Walk away
watch my wicked grin
Because when the chips are low
Your heart i'll surely win.

The Dark Priest

There is a priest
Who's cloak is black
Filled with hate
Fighting fate

His soul is dark
Though his image torn
A world of pain
No longer sane

There is a man
Who wears his mantle
He lost his past
It went so fast

Now time passes
So much lost
Life fades away
Into a shade of gray

There is a priest
His image dark
A wake of death
Spreads from his breath

A simple rhyme

A simple little rhyme
to get you through the day
It matters not its meaning
For soon it flies away

watch your words so soft
As they whisper through your mind
Look so deep within
and enjoy all you may find

For walking down the path
The willows branches hang
Listen ever softly
For the times the bell rang

Over the hedges
Accross the tattered street
Quickly quickly, run away
carried by your feet.

fly

Follow me down the rabbit hole
No telling how far i'll go
Desperate? i might be
But you'll never know

I'll cut these ties without hesitation
Break my way through the pain
Do you really care?
why? In the end it's all the same

Show me why i should walk again
You cant, because its all a lie
Let go! It's not to late
To spread your wings and fly

Youth

When i wore a younger man's heart
My smile wavered at each passing glance
Now that maturity has filled my coat
I'll tip my hat and ask you to dance

When I walked a path long forgotten now
I had no courage to step into the light
But now that age has filled my gut
I'll step forward and ask you out tonight

When time seemed so abundant
I told myself always "someday"
now that the hours grow dim
It seems the posibilities have flown away

Cant i go back?
to when my heart was so young
When courage was missing
and fear filled my lung?

Can't i go back
To when time stretched so far
When i knew where to find you
As i followed your star?

No, Time is now passed
This is the truth
Passed are the day's
And the time of my youth.

bank or bust

how many licks does it get to the tootsie filled center of my heart?
I'll show you my soul if you'll lend me your ear
hold on tight
There's nothing to fear

How many rainbows till you find the pot of gold?
Given time anyone can find answers they trust
But it takes a true genius
to gamble their souls and go for broke or bust.

Modern day Gunslinger

A modern day Gunslinger
Stranger than Fiction
.7MM loaded
Cocked, firing off diction

Bow your head
With respect i should be treated
For with my dictionary of ammunition
Never can i be defeated

beware my wrath
Or i'll put your name to page
Destroy you in literature
Then you'll Know my rage

But alas
I am a humble soul
Words at my disposal
My temper under constant control.

love me not

If I called your name tonight
would you grace me with your light?
If darkness was my name
Would you love me just the same?

I'd walk this road for you
In a light of ancient hue
For all the pain is bright
And i've no will left to fight

This is my last message
Of love and of trust
Never one of longing
Never one of lust

I love you, though you love me not.

A rose of shadow

A rose like darkness
Blooms in the night
Casting its shadows
Blotting out the light

Dreams are in chaos
My life thrown in hate
Drowning in shadows
Suffocating in fate

Time stretches on
And the shadows consume
A hate filled flower
In darkness does bloom

died

I don't feel lucky to love you
I feel i've lost my edge
My heart is dull with sorrow
lost in my honored pledge

Why don't you let me die?
When words just arent enough
Stop letting me pretend to smile
Stop letting me act tough

Just let it go
I know you want to
Let me fall
Its all you can do

Watch me as i walk away
Though I could never leave your side
Watch me as i fall away
I may as well have died

let go

Have you ever loved some one?
So much you've lost control?
Threads of life escape your grasp
Reality takes its toll

I've kept on fighting with all my heart
To hold you one last time
But if you can't say you want me
I'll slowly lose my shine

its so hard to hold onto you
When you always push away
And if you've always wished to leave
Why do you always ask me to stay?

Its midnight in my dreams
And i've cried a few tears
I've walked this path forever
And faced each of my million fears

Tonights love is tomorows Loss

Born in the night
With no one to love
Holding my heart
Like a dieing dove

Lost in a dream
Never to weep
Lost in the silence
My counsel to keep

Call on me darling
I'll rush to your side
Deep in your soul
My shadows hide

Be of the light
And know I know hell
From heaven above
To fire I fell

Cast in the shadows
To walk on the land
Lost to my dreams
My sorrow on hand

Dream for me
For my nights are all black
My eyes know bloodshed
My beaten heart in a sac

Draw on my breath
And know my true name
I'll walk by your side
Never in need of fame

Known by many
Remembered by few
Spreading my light
Is all i may do

Thus i walk
This path of pain
My mind is in shambles
No longer quite sane

Give me my chance
A smile and wink
The insanities there
It's closer than you think

Sin

Time is a fragment of my heart
That i will never let go
I hold on so very tight
I knew you'd never know

I've loved you so completely
It just seems so unfair
Force my grip to loosen
Push me with your stare

Oh so cold right now
How the nights drag away
My soul is chilled to ice
Now just say what you want to say

Not angry
Just sad and so alone
My sins are many
And i know i can't atone

Wash your hands of me
I know thats what you'll do
For my greatest sin
is being unable to stop loving you.

Why not

Ancient streams of wisdom
Leading me to glee
Finding truth in folly
As reality slips from me

So as I sit and consider
to spread my wings and fly
Limited in action
Now that i've asked "why"

To pose that simple question
our faces grow red and hot
The answer is quite simply
Why? well why the hell not?

A smile

Have you ever heard the dream come true?
When silence fills me as i dream of you?
Have you ever seen a heart so bold
For all i want, is your heart to hold

I'll call my name and dream my dreams
As all my world spreads at the seams
Would you love me if i was all alone?
If i walked this world with sins to atone

Now i'll say it without regret
How i wish i'd caught you in my net
Oh how i'd smile and grin
If a man like me, your heart could win

But soft, Do not fear
For soon your love grows near
And though i am cast aside
I have no doubts, i do confide

For as i walk, I know my place
To look upon her smiling face
And sigh, the softest sigh
Burn to ashes, and slowly die

Untill te day

In a dream of moonlight
I cast my sight
To see the day
While here i stay

I am but a simple man
Doing what i can
To watch the shadows roll
As the hours take their toll

And each time the clock strikes one
I know the demons came to their fun
For every moment within this hell
I know my soul is never well

I Stand upon the morning shore
breathing away my sorrow for more
Though a smile I reap
And a grin i'll keep

Had I one chance to dream
I would not resew the seam
Deftly my fingers may dance
Sweeping into soft romance

So call my name
My soul so tame
To hold your fire
and soft desire

Until the day i die

Cry cry cry

Though i cry my tears of blood
And see my soul turn black
The voices always scream
About the things i lack

And when im finally free
To look upon my life
The road is oh so long
And only filled with strife

I've written a thousand words
And i'll write a thousand more
before i find the key
That unlocks the hidden door

To walk through and smile
Is all I'll ever crave
To find true love again
Not alone within my grave

Nothing as it seems
As darkness takes the light
Into the shadows i roam
Existing only in night

Drip drip drip

Drip drip drip
Down the water fall
Drop drop drop
The man who's lost it all

This man, He walks alone
Down the ally, without a dream
These demons he holds dear
Are more than they seem

If he cast them away
Drip drop drip
Take one chance
Let the memories slip

Then could he remember?
what he truly needs to know
Or would the demons consume him
As his fears continue to grow.

Down the walkway
He steps in time
Stepping perfectly
Walking the line

Down down
Never lose sight
Away from up
Flee the light

Limbo

Sitting in the corner
Thoughts filled with black
Knowing all the qualities
Of things i'll always lack

My heart is so untamed
My life is such a mess
The fears i have consume me
My doubts I must confess

Give to me my freedom
Let me go from here
Tell me that you hate me
Or tell me you'll be near

leave me not in limbo
Don't let me sit and cry
For i would rather lose my heart
Than deal with this and die

Writing with fate

Have you ever stopped to wonder whether you write because you enjoy it, or if you write because fate deals you those cards? This is providing you are able to wrap your mind around and accept, to a degree, the concept of fate.

By fate i don't mean all things are preordained of course, that could be considered silly. Instead define fate as the path you take yourself down through all your decisions. We create our own fate. A self fulfilling prophecy if you will.

What I mean is. Have you ever fallen in love, utterly in love, which draws from you a great new aspect of writing, and then that love fails. The failure launches you into a great despair, which of course causes even more deep and meaningful writing to come from you.

For me, sometimes, it feels as though every endeavor I take myself on is simply a subconcious guidance down the road that will improve my writing. I sometimes wonder if I can find love, or happiness, or if the IDEA's of love and happiness only exist for me in order to brighten me so I may be plunged deeper into the realm of my writing at a later point.

Now this is not meant to be some Emo, depressing "My soul is bleeding" kind of thing. Not in the least. This is just a simple question to anyone who reads this:

Do you write to express life? Or do you LIVE only to influence what you write?

Style

I've read that the best means of developing ones writing ability is continual use combined with the reading of as many different other sources of work as one can.
If you continue to read more and more books by one person, you're style will begin to reflect the style of those you read, while if you read from different sources a more robust writing ability will emerge. I feel its important to practice writing in styles you don't naturally feel comfortable writing in.
To use poetry as an example, if your favorite rhyme scheme is abab, now and then make sure to write aabb, or free form. Experience the other way's of writing, *flex the muscle* if you will. By doing this you're ability to adapt in certain situations to meet new requirements grows stronger.
If you constantly write in a dark tone, you will fall into the habit, and soon the dark tone loses its impact. If you describe every little thing with a heavy and dark atmosphere, the atmosphere ends up less potent. training yourself to be able to flex into a lighter mood, or a comedic mood is extremely important. Once you are able to do that, you may soften the reader up, before dropping into the heaviness of your message, or vise versa, using dark to emphasize light.
Its the same principle as stepping from a bright room into a dark one, or a dark one into a bright one. After having been in one, the severity of the other increases.

Struggle

The following is my view on poetry, in fact its my view on writing in general.

Writing is much like painting, with one minor difference, "Aha," you might say, "The difference being that you paint a picture with words instead of paint." You would be wrong in that assumption however.
A good writer produces an image in your head just as clear as any painting, perhaps even more clear. Then what, you might ask, is the difference I speak of? Number of colors. Imagine each word is a color that a painter might use to create his/her image. Now say they wish to paint a blue sky, there are several shades of blue one can use, several variations adding green adding yellow, more black less black. These in the end produce one color. Perhaps that shade of variant of blue we will call "joy" blue, another might be called "perfect" blue, one might be called "pristine" blue, all of these are colors, but in the end the painter can use only one of those colors, for if you add them together, it creates another color entirely, which may not be blue at all.
This is where a writer differs, we may use as many colors for one object as we wish, "The sky was a perfect blue, pristine in its majesty and filled with an aura of everlasting joy that would bring forth a sigh from the lips of any who viewed it" I've just used several colors for one image, each working together in its own way. Admittedly this is not the most beautiful of word combinations to achieve an amazing effect, but it was merely to point out the idea.

Going to a more basic level, art is the hope of evoking within people things that do not have words or colors, feelings that can not be described. For to look at something that is awe inspiring, it is beyond words. The combination of sensory details and feelings that arise in you can not be matched. A painter tries to copy it with an image, while a writer attempts to use words in combinations to draw out the emotional response that has no words.
This in itself seems odd. I've just stated that writers try to use words to say things that have no words. Odd, but true.
Through all of this, writers inevitably seek to widen their mastery of the human language, to gain more and more "colors" to continue the analogy, to add to their painting's, but knowing a word is not the same as knowing how to use it perfectly. Every word which means the same thing, draws out a slightly different image from the reader. Further more using some archaic word which means exactly what you are trying to say, is not always a good answer. If it is a word that only you know the meaning of, the reader will instantly become color blind to your image of the sky.
For example, if I were to say "The sky was fepondoropick in its presence" its just as though the word were not there, a gray spot. Feponderopick, as witty and large as it is, has no meaning. If you look it up in a dictionary it will not be there. Any word that is rare among rare, may as well not be in the dictionary, because few people will take the time to stop what they are reading in order to better gain insight as to what a writer may mean.
Further more, even if they are one who DOES take the time to look up a word they do not know, the illusion has already been broken. Your image is lost.

Thus I feel it is important to write smart, not witty. Writing is not about showing your intellect to the world. It is about making others feel as though they are on the same level as you. The more in sync they feel with your mind, the more immersed in the story they will become. If they feel you are talking down to them, the immersion is lost. If they feel you are talking up to them, the same effect is achieved.

With all my heart

May I ask you to Love me?
May I ask you to dance?
Swept into a moment.
Of perfect romance.

May I offer to hold you?
May I offer you light?
Lost in this moment.
Where hearts take flight.

May I keep you forever?
May I keep you near?
Swept into love.
Without any fear.

I would hold you so close.
If you would only be mine.
Forever keep you safe.
For all of our time.

I love you with all my heart.

How can i walk this line?
Day by day
The same old way

How many times is this?
That I've lost my chance
This sweet romance?

How can I step up and sing
When the darkness calls
When my heart now falls

With a smile on my face
I'll meet each day
With me please stay

And every moment locked in joy
Come to me
And you will see

Sometimes things are different
Life is just so bright
Now its time to face the light

Effortlessly

Remember as the clock slows a tick
Remember the silence, as the walls are thick
Forget all the truth that you once learned
Forget your past, the pictures now burned

Cast it away into the depths of hell
Cast it away, and not a living soul tell
Did you imagine, that we would be here?
Did you imagine, all that you might fear?

Here is the moment to truly test yourself
Here is the moment, the memories on the shelf
I am but one man, in a sea of so much hate
I am but one man, i battle against the tides of fate

Remember me, As i fall away
Forget the past, as i lived my way
Cast away all that you fear
Did you imagine we would ever be near?
Here is the moment to be as one
I am but one man, from the past i run

Effortlessly, into the distance.

the rhyme

Walking through the fields
Holding hands so tight
These dreams are of tomorrow
As they fade into the night

These words, Spoken tomorrow
So many things we can not know
The times are filled with shadow
And places we can not go

Each step along the way
Is a building filled with time
Each stone within its structure
Sings an ancient rhyme

'walk down the stepping stones
gently come to me
Walk down the stepping stones
beauty you will see.

Hollow now, down the way
These words I will sing
Hollow now, is the day
black gems upon the ring'

Shattered

Shattered darkness
And broken dreams
The light within
More then it seems

Break the chaos
And know the mold
Step up to the challenge
Make yourself bold

One last chance
Is all that I ask
To become a man
And complete this task

Stronger than darkness
Weaker than light
Love you completely
With all of my might.

Love?

The beat of my heart quickens
The pace of by breath deepens
Each moment frozen in place
Dragging forever onward in my heart

The sight touches my vision
A memory more true than life
A sight I can not forget
The moment I saw you

The touch is electric
Like a pulse through my veins
Each moment an adventure
Things change, but stay the same

Slave to my art

A slave like need
An addiction i feed
To free these words
Into the sky like birds

Without judgment I write my lines
Enslaving words to my ill designs
Though daily they seek to be free
The words will never escape me

But are they slaves or am I?
For with these words, i do fly
But a need for them, there is no doubt
For were they gone, I could not shout

These feelings, so complicated and true
All the things in this world i can not do
I write them, burned upon the page
Speaking wisdoms beyond my age

So here is the rub which i know
These words just wont let me go
I will write them until the day i die
Else they will never let me fly.

Freedom of will

When one step becomes two
I'll shed myself of you
When three steps becomes four
My feet will hit the floor

When the clock turns from ten
We'll be together once again
When the big hand lands on twelve
Deeper into love we will delve

Did time so ever perfectly flow
Perhaps then I would let you go
But as it stands time stands still
Letting you go is against my will

So ever i hold on to you
There is nothing left to do
If each moment i had my way
"you are free" my words would say

But as it is my wills not free
So ever are you bound to me
But someday now it may be so
That i may turn and let you go

A dance

Each thread a silver hue
Images of love for you
Each moment defined in gold
A man so humble could be so bold

Though I walk in the light of love
Remember always you are my dove
Cast away each moment of doubt
You my darling i can not live without

Each line is so perfectly read
Each moment clear in my head
Call my name, i'll hold you near
Love's eternal, have no fear

Darling, come dance with me
Come dance, and you will see
Each moment, perfect and true
As I stroll and dance with you

Let me Be

I breath in the scent of night
Always dreaming of the light
Every tender touch and kiss
Sends my being to eternal bliss

Each moment seems so eternally strong
That I cant forget that beautiful song
Were I a bird with feathered wings
I would give way to the heart that sings

Grant me one wish I pray of you
Take my love, never say we're through
Such is the one fear I know
The fear that someday i must let you go

Please do not ask it of me
Just smile and let me be

Cloudlike Dream

Dreams are like clouds
They drift upon the wind
Day's are like raindrops
They pile up so fast

Can I take them slow?
How long will I last?
the hours are like mountains
So hard to make it through

But if I can sift through the moments
I'll find just what I'll do
Yes, dreams are so fragile
Like a priceless vase

But if you'll lend me courage
All my dreams i'll face
One step at a time
and someday you'll be mine.

A chance to live

Despite all these things
The rage wells inside
These feels are so real
They're to intense to hide

So let me let them out
Give me one moment of life
To experience this passion
To know that not all is strife

Every moment,
Rages inside
I cant hold on
Though i must confide

Give me a moment
I'll show my my soul
Let the fire burn brighter
Let it rage beyond control

Now im alive
Dont you see my time
Just let the flame burn down
I'll be just fine

Serenity

Like a cool breeze upon your face
The grassy hill spreads before you
Serenity flows like a river to calm your soul.

Flow

Eagles fly and flowers wilt
All our troubles, nothing built
To find the things we fear
And draw them ever near

Despite the horrors we face
Adrenalin wont win this race
We run so far, urgency we fake
Drawing others into frantic wake

Pull them all quietly along
Whilst singing this urgent song
Can the day's become our friend
Or will this flow into our end

To flame

Upon the wind I cast my name
Give thought to word
Give word to Flame.

Despite it all I remain the same
I shall lose myself
Within this Game.

Times a curse that pulls be down
Though my face does smile
My soul does frown

And now my mind is one of doom
For my heart is full
There is no room

Fill my life with things I've lost
The times have changed
Lines have been crossed

I cast away my name
Given it much thought
And cast my name to flame

It burns away to the finest ash
The name is lost in a poetic flash.

The leaf

So deep,
A leaf upon the wind
Falling from the branch
Into the puddles below

Life and Limb

As i see myself through this mirror
As i shatter my own doubt
As I look beyond my fear
I see feelings my soul is without

Against all odds I do stand firm
Here is the endless path i trudge
Though temptations come at me
I know my stance, I will not budge

There are sins in this world which tempt
these are things that might push me astray
Despite all that comes before me, however
I walk with confidence and keep my way

I am but one man on this earth
One man with a soul of black
Though without any skills
I Possess the nack

So i walk the world
Doing my best
Putting my soul
up to this test

I may come out ahead
Though my odds are grim
But what is a man
without risking life and limb?

In death

As the dreams fill us with light
I'll pass away my chance at life
As i slowly lose my will to fight
I'll resign myself to endless strife

Though the path is ever long
Though time keeps passing by
I'll try my hardest to stay strong
Through it all I will not die

Here is my challenge to you
Here is the test i cry
Show me all I might do
And leave my heart to die

Destined

I walk this world alone
Not a soul with whom to speak
I walk the path I'm shown
Though my mind is ever meek.

Has loves touch ever been mine?
As the petals wilt and die
Will i get my chance to shine?
Or in failure will I fall from the sky.

Darkness, its almost kin to me
These pains are so real
Everyone can see
That numbness is what I feel

Halfway(re-done)

(recently reread this and decided to change a few things)
I woke up, Everything was fine
Looked over, You were not there
No sign of your presence, not a single strand of hair.

A little worried, Decided to call, Another man picked up
Thats the last I recall.

I woke up, 3 weeks later, Halfway to hell
with no indicator of what t I had seen
or what I had done.
Where i had been, or why i had run.

But the real fear I had
Was not where I would go
But if I had hurt you
Because I just didn't know

So if you're alive
I pray that you're well
As my soul drifts slowly

Resignation

I resign myself to thee
Oh demon of my soul
Fingers laid in darkness
The strings of my control

Now I've lost my hope
As daybreak turns to night
As shadows fill my heart
As darkness snuffs out light


Without love i walk the earth
Without joy I stride this land
My actions hold no meaning
My castle's made of sand

Despite the yearning of my heart
The tides they always win
My fortress will slowly wash away
And my mind will fill with sin

I resign myself to darkness
I step away from light
Now cast away my struggles
Now shelve my will to fight

Can you blame me?
For these actions I now take?
Can you hold me responsible?
With all that's left at stake?

I am but a demon
A sinner in human skin
No angelic light inside me
Not a scrap of good within

This is my resignation
I shall never love again
This is my white flag
Pain, it is you who did win.

Lost in rage

I look at the mirror
Pain fills my sight
The image within
Nothing but blight

Forget my intentions
Fuck this foul mood
Lost in this hatred
Whilst i sit and brood

Why is my image
So tainted in black?
Showing the hatred
The good that I lack?

Forget the simple things
I want to experience nirvana
But I cant, for i sit in this inferno
Cant breath within this sauna

Lose myself to chaos
This image is so fake
Though the porcelain is strong
The paint starts to flake

The image within
Dark and twisted
Sometimes i wish
That i never existed

But within me there is a curse
The pain that i'll always see
That someday i'll be trapped
But everday i'll always be me

I cant escape
This pain is so real
I'll never remember
How joy used to feel

Im lost
Lost in rage
Expressing thoughts
Upon the written page

Across these windswept paths
I walk to see the light of day
Across the daring streets
Ever seeking my own way

Do the shadows have a name?
Or do i live in light
Do reflections hold meaning
Within my fading sight?

Lost, within this realm
To ever walk alone
Drag me from this horror
And gently take me home

One dream For many

One dream for many
Seems simple I know
Forever to hold you
Never to let you go

This dream takes my soul
I know it seems brash
I lose my control
Do not think me as rash

If one moment did fade
Silently into dawn
Holding so close
Over your memories i fawn

Hear me out
Don't bring me to screams
The love that i feel
Runs deeper than it seems

One dream for many
Crazy i know
To hold on so tight
That you cannot let go

To live such a dream
To hold it so near
Is to know your own limits
To know the heart of your fear

One dream for many
I know I'm not well
But you are my darling
And in love I fell

One path

Though I walk through this valley
Through the shadow and spite
Though I know only horror
My eyes see the light


Faith in a feeling
Higher than I
Wind through my feathers
I know I can fly

Step with me now
Through the valley of death
I'll protect your virtue
To my very last breath

And though there is sorrow
In the words we must hear
Life holds no meaning
If it is lived only in fear

There is one choice
Brave the fiery wrath
There is a way
If you walk the one path.

Thread my heart

Thread my heart
My pain to bare
So alone
Not a soul does care

Thread my soul
Against the grain
No one knows
Of all my pain

Strip it bare
The threads of me
All i know
Is all you see

Watch me fade away
Watch my world go black
Watch all my faults
And all that i lack

Alone, Thread my heart.

Blade like heart

Can you see the edge
Of my blade like heart
Caste in hatred
An ancient art

But with a single kiss
My soul can be saved
As the warmth floods
My way becomes paved

I see the essence of love
It fills me to my core
Beyond what words speak
You are the one i adore

Can i hold you
So close it burns
can i feel you
The fear it turns

From darkness
My soul becomes light
From shadow
I reach the highest height

Cast me in your heart
your blade like heart
Cut me free from sorrow
Give me a brand new start

Dreams

Sometimes...Dreams are fragile
Sometimes they fade away
sometimes the angels wings
Are the memories that do not stay

Hold tight to those dreams
Where the mind fades black
Hold onto all that you wish
And forgive what others lack

Were you to walk upon the stars
And dream within the sand
Could you hold up against the nightmere
And make your final stand?

Ages

Give me the wings of an angel, And a heart of sin
Caste in the name, of grace long past
Walk the earth in ageless form
chances lost, now reborn

Halfway

I woke up, Everything was fine
No Mental stress, Not a care in my mind
Looked over, You were not there
No sign of your presence, not a single strand of hair.

A little worried, Decided to call, Another man picked up
And thats the last i recall.

I woke up, 3 weeks later, Halfway to hell
and no indicator of what t I had seen
and what I had done.
Where i had been, or why i had run.

But the real fear i had
Was not where I'd go
But if i had hurt you
Because i just didn't know

So if your alive
I pray that you're well
As my soul drifts slowly
Down the river to hell

Gleam within

Shadows within night
Chaos we lack
The glimmer of the collar
The shimmer in black

From the depth of darkness
The truest sense of soul
As time comes to a stop
You relinquish all control

If The world loses meaning
If time moves to fast
Cast out your freedom
Make the feeling last

Give way to darkness
Do not rant and rave
Find the truest meaning
The joy of the slave

Forgotten

I am the sword in ancient hands
Fear beyond the fear of life
I am the blade which severs all bonds
A strength from the darknest source

Given life through endless pain
Trust lost in the storm
As all things must slowly end
I know how deep the water runs

Cast me deeper into the lake
Show me how much you hate
Give me over to the pain of death
And let my soul simmer

Lost in these places
A scyth which severs bonds
I am the reaper now
Given strength over the souls of men

Forgotten.

Spirit of death

Deep in my soul
The light fades to black
The voices scream
All the things I lack

As darkness fills me
As my time draws near
All the voices scream
Are all the things I fear

Now in the heart of pain
The things i learned in life
Now the voices scream
All my endless strife

Give to me salvation
Save me from my self
Stop the voices screaming
Save my mental health

Fade to gray
Fade to black
Turn to ash
Please turn back

Keep it civil

Lets keep it civil
Friendships to tough
Now that its over
Things are so rough

"never will leave you"
those words were so true
But now that its over
I cant even talk to you.

You Say that you loved me
We would always be friends
Why is it over?
And the friendship now ends?

I promised I'd hold you
That you'd always be dear
But now sense its over
Theres nothing but fear

But we'll keep it civil
Because friendship wont work
Now that we're over
Am i just a jerk?

I meant what i said
When I swore to you "forever"
But now that its over
Its like we were never together

Its not me
Oh god how I try
You said we're over
And left me to die

Its not that im mad
No, never at you
we may be over
But i'll never be over you

left to die

As i walk the shadows
As death passes by
My mind in tatters
Life is but a lie

Here is the joker
The kings in my hand
More of this torture
I simply can not stand

So bleed my soul
Leave my veins dry
Bleed out my heart
And leave me to die.

--Averett Krysif, From Dawn to Dusk

A time of change

Darkness
Pouring rain
The voices cry
Am i insane?

Chaos fills
The mind within
My veins spill
filled with sin

The blood runs deep
the darkness true
Here lies the monster
Born for you.

---Averett Krysif, From Dawn to Dusk

For a noble

As the needle is drawn
As the thread grows tight
I need you my darling
As the flowers need Light

That as the fates do ordain
As time passes by
The beat in my heart
It never does lie

Come with me darling
Come here, let us dance dance
I give my heart to you
And all my romance

---Averett Krysif, At Dawn

memoirs of darkness

I walk in the shadows
I bath in the night
Though chaos surounds be
It gives me delight

Thousands of moons
I have lived to see
The blood in your viens
Is like any other to me

Just another face
In an endless sea
Your life has little
value to me

Here are the pages
Written in blood
A poem so dark
your viens fill with mud

I am the vampire
I live in your soul
You are my prey
Its beyond your controll

---Averett Krysif, In Dusk

Averett Kyrsif's True word

as the night gives way to day
All the children hide away
As dusk gives way to dawn
To the shadows they are drawn

As order loses sight
We all will curse the light
As night now gives us truth
Away we flee from youth

So cast me to the shadows
Hide me from the day
As i live in darkness
The blood road is my way
---Averett Krysif, In Dusk

Lost

so As i sit
here in bed
I lie awake
fucked in the head

I know now
as i always will
That a womans thoughts
Are to much to spill

I cant help
no not a finger lift
I dont have the talent
i dont have the gift

To guide the people
I wish to save
I should just give up
and onward wave

For without hope
I blindly walk
I know its silly
I know you balk

But I am now lost

Reflections

i see my shell
reflected in you
Its all i am
To pray for you

To cast myself
in heavens grace
But in this light...
how could i face

You, tonight i know
that despite what i see
You'll never believe
You'll never love me

But that is fine
For now i know
That if i stay
that you will go

but i'll be here,
to watch your back
to help you out
when something you lack

Demonic

Dark and deep,
Endless and true
Here are my demons
Presented to you

As things come to pass
As midnight is struck
Your time runs thin
Your quite out of luck

So here is the moment
where heaven meets hell
You here it toll
the sound of the bell

And if you stand true
When the hammer strikes nine
You'll cast out your doubt
Your soul will be fine

But should you see midnight
And still hold your fear
the chains they will shackle
And forever bind you here

I am the demons
Deep in my soul
I am the moment
Its beyond my control

So fear my dark self
And know its not me
If you look close enough
The truth you will see

Im lost in my sorrow
Im caught in my maze
My life it still wanders
Lost in a haze

Essence

Do you ever stop?
To say goodbye?
When the chips are low
When the cards are high?

Do your friends cry
When you let them go?
Can you feel the rush?
Can You feel the flow?

I've got the rip
I've got the roll
When I cast my bet
Life takes its toll

So hear me now
I've got to say
Feel it slip
And wash away.

My essence...So alone.

Like a blade in the dark
The gleam from the sheath
You here it slide forth
The Blow shatters your teeth

And in the nights Home
Where goodness resides
And wher eyou to listen
To whom he confides


Your mind it would shatter
Your world it would break
Things become hazy
Your hands begin to shake

So walk down the hallway
Deliver your plee
If your afraid
Run from me

Open

If i screamed your name
Into the pain of Night
If i held my life
If my soul lacked light

If i were a man
capable of love
If i held that promise
Would you still shove

Me away
From the light of day
To fear the Night
And limit my sight?

If i screamed your name
Into The anguish of day
Would you still stare
And laugh that way?

I dont know
Where im from
Where i was born
Am i just dumb?

Each day in passing
A light without a chance
My life is a lost cause
Its all just one last dance

If i screamed into the silence
Would you hear your name?
If i shouted at the echo's
Would life still be the same?

If the Ghost I sought
All turned away
Would you still shun me?
Would the light of day?

If i was born
Without fear
Would I know
WHy i was here?

Or is it fear
that lights my path
Is it terror?
I could just laugh

If i laughed into the void
Would you hear sorrows echo?
Its so cold now
Standing here alone

Without guidance
Without a home
I know the place
From where i came

But now its changed
Nothings the same
So now i cry
As i lose my name

If i had one chance
One shot at fame
To lose my doubts
And have one last dance...


One last dance, To hold you near
One Last dance, Without fear

Oh Were i to dance
The pain i'd stay
Were I to cry
I'd fade away

So shed not
A tear for me
Sleep well
And in glee

So now my friend
Call my name
Cast your spells
Try in vein

Pray to God
And try your pacts
Lose your logic
Forget your facts

I am gone
I've always been
If you look for me
You will not win

Im but an echo
On the winds of life
Gathering pain
Hoarding strife

And i know not
Why i feel this way
But i feel it often
Everyday

So heres the poem
Which plagues my soul
So drink my water
Empty my bowl

My throat
It fears no thirst
For the pain consumes
My throat will burst

Lost in the shadows
Of day and night
Without chaos
Without light

Order entraps me
When warmth i seek
Was i always this slender?
always so meek?

Ah the great challenge
Am i alive?
Should i give up?
or continue to strive

For all the things
In life we seek
For when sorrow calls
My bodies weak

So Call your demons
Profess your love
I fear the heavens
the light above

I seek the chaos
that makes me free
I seek disorder
But it eludes me

So here i sit
bathed in blood
My enemies slain
My sorrows flood

The gates Of my soul...
...Open

Halfway to hell

Sometimes....Death comes unannounced.
And if your not prepared
If your even a little scared
You'll end up prounounced

So stand strong, Dont let it get you
let out the fire inside
never run and hide
And in me confide

because when death shows up
three day's later
You'll be halfway to hell
with no indicater

of how you got there
or how to get back
And if you've got no clue
Yes, if you dont know jack

then i'll be there
WIth a grin on my face
To hold you close
our fingers to lace

I'll guide you
I'll walk you to the gates
Sometimes, You fear the fates
but when i step up
dont even flinch

I'll hold out
Especialy in a pinch
And when the pitch gets thrown
We'll be halfway home

Crisp

Crisp and cool
Like a razors edge
A cute so clean
Undone at the seem

Fall away
From the lightning strike
Your soul ignight
In burning flight

9 p.m.

A chilling tale
Where two world rift
A wanderer
Between you drift

But belong to them
You do not
Seperate
And long forgot

The difference clear
Between thine and them
Never clearer
At 9 PM

Alone

Left alone
We might now drift
Shapeless
We quietly sift

All alone
We fade away
Seemless
To a shade of gray

So alone
We know the score
Hopeless
Like ancient lore

Die alone
We will surely end
Regretfull
Our doubt we send

Little thread

As we wander through the world, we are connected to eachother by little threads of compassion. None of us really pay attention, but we all know they are there. When you get a hug from someone that you care about, from someone that geniuanly cares about how your feeling. That is the joy of these threads. But at the same time, if you are betrayed, it is those threads that give us pain. Connect yourself to those you can truely trust. But be careful who you give that to, some mistakes hurt more then others.

Hold true to yourself, dont lie, and everything will work out.

dream

I stand alone. Watching all the faces drift by.
They are like ghosts, Watching all the people live life.
And i am them, they are me, and all we know, is all i see.

So here i am, And there i went, And all i know Is all i've spent.
Im without love, and without trust, My life is dead
My heart will rust. So cast away, This ending time

And live my life, without a rhyme
So here i go, and there i'll be
If your there, then Me you'll see

I am a traveler, lost in day
Give me night, and let me stay.

Joy

Young and torn
The pain is real
The day your born
Its all you feel

Now hold your time
its all you know
Dont cross the line
Dont let it go

If your lost
Just hold on tight
Your faith you tossed
Its in your sight

Feel it
Be it
Know it
See it

Joy

Myself and I

Torn in the light
Myself and I
Lost in my shadow
A glimmer so shy

And deep in my heart
Oh, i know your true
But a lie so sweet
Hangs over you

So away I run
From the path ahead
To feel the pain of love?
I'd rather be dead.

Honor

I long for the day's of Honor
I cry for the day's long past
I wish we could slow things down
So time didnt move as fast

Sometimes I see our people
I know what they are inside
They are without the spirit
When afraid, they run and hide

Live up to the name of glory
And let yourself be free
Look deep within yourself
Untill you are proud of what you see.

Lady Of Darkness

Sing in the night
Oh lady of Darkness
Sing in my sight
Oh lady of Darkness

Dance in the shadows
Her lips soaked red
Dance in the starlight
My passions now fed

Her eyes are a craving
And her Presence In dreams
Her words insight lust
She's more then she seems

So dance my dark lady
Unite our desire
And as we all crave you
Our hearts burn like fire

I stand alone
In the shadow of pain
I walk alone
Never to be sane

I dance alone
When chaos calls
I remain alone
As night falls

I live alone
When the heart beat slows
I die alone
When my last breath goes

throw it all away

Throw it all away
Life isnt worth it
Throw it all away
Because thats where you sit

let the pain cut you deep
Hold onto the sorrow
Let the blackness seep
Let it bubble up tomorow

The blood
It feels so pure
The pain
My only cure

The pulse slows itself
The bubbles come and go
The pain is a poem in itself
My life is just a freak show

So throw it all away
I dont give a fuck
You can go or stay
Because in the web im stuck

Throw it all away. Let it bleed. Plant my seed. ONe last deed. And now im dead.

Doubt

The sky is black
And the world so grey
Some things i dream
Everyday

And with the time
I've spent alone
My heart has turned
To stone

So here i lay
And here i cry
Without my soul
I'll surely die

So Cast away
All my doubt
For all my pain
I could do without.

thrashed

Alone i cry
Thrashed and torn
I must lose my life
Before im born

And if I could
Drink one last sip
Let my world
Just let it slip

Slip it out
let the blood flow
Let the world fade
Just let it all go

Blade called MidNight

Sword in hand
Sheath let go
shimmering stars
My blade i show

Blood soaked ground
And tear stained shirt
Accross the desert
Of sun cracked dirt

I stand tall
Though i stand alone
For all my fears
Never have i shown

The shadow cast
Without light
A blade so named
Called, MidNight

For a Valentine

Red roses
Velvet crushed
From her eyes
Her hair i brushed

With a kiss
A touch so sweet
Her inner secrets
I pray i meet

A lasting warmth
A hug so pure
For my heart ach
She is the cure

And memories
So strong and true
Of sitting there
Close to you

Blue

Shattered in the chaos
And lost in tears
All those moments
All my fears

Did i have a chance?
To live my life?
When all i've felt
Is pain and strife.

When the silloute fades
That image of you
When all is lost
I feel so blue

Self Portrait

I spread the ink
so black and red
The blood in my viens
Is my soul this dead?

I cast the light
The white and gray
Is my heart this plain?
In everyway?

I show the lines
between day and night
In the twillight between
I've lose my sight

I paint myself
With blood and taint
Was my pulse this weak?
Was it always this faint?

Back in Black

Through the darkness
The light returns
From the shadows
The sunlight burns

And through the hollows
we weep and Pray
To never see
The light of Day