Empty

Really dont have anything to say, but felt I should write something anyway. So basicly im going to say this. Don't be empty. Mankind usualy is, but try not to be. When the world enters a shade of grey, do your best to define it in the infinate color spectrum. Don't let yourself fade, you'll regret it always.

So when life gets you down, when you walk the path alone. Find a companion, and paint your picture with all the color you can. Its just like the song say's "1 is the lonelist number" and like that, grey is by far the saddest color. Grey is undefined. Forgotten. Blended out of existence.

Always remember to never be forgotten. Thats the best i have right now.

Inner hate

Always remember, That the darkness in our hearts is an uncontrolable substance. When it wants out, it will take control, and no amount of self control can stop it. We often feel the pressures, and we deny it. We think because we can manage the day to day, that we can put a hold on true hatred and an inner fire. This is not true. When the fire burns everything in its path is incinerated, and no matter how hard we try there is nothing we can do to put those flames out.

For those that do not suffer a true inner hatred, a darkness that consumes and corrupts, feel blessed. For those of us that do can tell you that that which we wish to love and respect. That which we wish to be kind and true. Is no match if it is also that which our darkness despises.

And for those of you like myself, who have a particular point in which you simply have no control of yourself. A subject in which once raised can never be dropped. Remember, though there is nothing we can do to control it, there are measures we can take to help it fade. Do not be a slave, acknowledge your pain and your sorrow, and let it go.

Alone

I exist, one step into darkness, where the humblest souls do lay. I am without purpose or progress, yet forward i continue to walk. I bare this legend, and the destiny to fulfill it. Yet i seek nothing. I am nothing. I am burdened by my own lack of existence. Do I swallow this anger? do I consume my own fear? Or let the waves over take me?

The moon reflects from the surface. Calm and serene. But beneath the ebony mirror, demons exist. They are my demons, daily I fight them. Yet for everyone one I slay, another takes its place. The struggle is eternal and im slowly losing faith.

Should I find the light? or let the darkness take me? that is my question. That is the line I walk. My soul laughs at me, and my heart it just sighs.

Chaos And order

Chaos and order are not what people usualy think of them as. In typical terms Chaos tends to have a negative connotation, Its usualy tied in with the meaning of evil. Order on the other hand is typicaly thought of as meaning along the lines of good. These meanings are not true however.

If anything the connotations should be reversed. Order is the restricting absolute rule that takes away freedom and forces all to be the same and perfect. It takes away individuality and free thought. Takes away creativity. It is absoluteness.

While chaos, the thing which we typically see with a negative meaning. Is randomness and complete freedom. The ability to act on a whim and never look back. To see what you want and be what you want with no rhyme or reason. Creativity flurishes in a chaotic envirnment as does innovation.

The business world often seeks to put chaotic achievements into a world of order. They want to keep absolute rule, but bare the benifits of innovation and creativity. This simply does not work. The abstract and beautiful can not come from the absolute and firm. The twisted inventions of this hybrid can only lead further into the bestranged nature that has been forced.

Its thus that I believe people should begin welcoming a bit more chaos into their lives, It coudl very well change the world.

Move Forward

As a life lesson its important to remember to move forward. Dont get to caught up with what has been, or what might have been. While seeing the past is important, Its come to my attention that sometimes we as people really forget what it really means to live.

Its easy to become overwhelmed by the past, or things we wished were reality but getting lost in those only creates more missed opertunities, and more shamefull past experiences to look back on. Its actauly a very senseless cycle. Instead we should always look forward. Remember the past and live for the future taking everything in stride. Live your life one day at a time and enjoy every moment of it.

Last but not least, always remember that the simple pleasures in life are perhaps the most enjoyable of things to do. Try to take some time out for the little things now and then.

Hollow Life

Im living the hollow life.
A bland soup with the thickness of water.
Living without Life
I'm dead without dieing.
No one lives forever
And some dont live at all.
I'm hanging back and watching
Living the hollow life.

So here it is, my triumphant return to the internet. Enjoy the poem. Analyze, Memorize, Theorize, and for the sake of man kind, get something out of it ;)

Deepest

Ever wonder what would happen if you were offered to have your deepest desire fulfilled? would you accept? would you want to know what your desire was? After all, by deepest we're not talking right on the surface "i want to be rich" kind of desire. I mean deepest desire, desire beyond what even you realize yo desire.

What kind of things are hidden deep within your subconcious? what kinds of things are we capable of when those doors are open? Would we really be happy to have those desires fulfilled? or would we be shamed? afraid? confused? angry?

Can you attain bliss through a desire you have, but you are shamed that you have? Would you hate yourself forever if you chose to let someone grant you your deepest desire, and from that you were alloted to kill thousands of people, and laugh at them? Perhaps those secret desires we keep burried deep within are burried for a reason?

How would you react to finding out that below it all, you were just a sick, perverted freak that got off to something that would repulse an upright and decent human being? Is there anyone alive, even someone of the cloth, that would be left as a decent human being if everyones deepest unknown desires were brought to the surface?

If everyones dark desire was unlocked, there would be chaos. Society may very well be destroyed. But at the same time, it could also bring balance and light. If you knew that politician A or B wanted to do whatever sick and disgusting thing may be hidden deep within, then at least you know, and you would not have to guess at what you can expect from them.

Is knowing and being disgusted better then not knowing and living in bliss? "Ignorance is bliss" is a very old saying, how far can this be taken?

Personaly i would love to see what my inner most desires are, i'd love to face my inner demons and see if i could emerge a better person, or if i would be twisted into a monstrocity of perversion and hate. I would love to see myself in the light of my true darkness. Would you? Could you?

The world may never know, but what if we did?

Integrated compatability

Kind of strange to think about the internet in this day and age. To think about how seemlessly it has become integrated into our daily lives. A means of getting news, means of checking the status of Books/movies/video-games/people we know, almost anything you can imagine can be checked upon and micromanaged over the internet.

The freedom and power we find over the internet has become an addictive substance all its own in our world. Some of us are like crack addicts, while others are just casual users, while others still see it as something alien and dont understand how the net savies can spend so much time surfing it, however the net is like a spiderweb, the non-believers can very easily find themselves trapped upon its sticky surface. My family used to look at my odd with how much time i spend online, then my sister discovered ebaums world and suddenly she was hooked, My father's last report was that he had picked up internet poker and slots.

The fact of the matter is, no matter who you are the internet affects your life somehow, almost anything you could want to do can be accomplished online. That thought is both refreshing and scary at the same time. Its neat to think that we have come this far, But it is also terrifying to wonder what would happen if the internet was suddenly stripped away from us all.

If the internet was suddenly gone. what would happen? It would be devestating, people would not know what to do. Peoples jobs would become obsolete. Though i supose this holds true for all technology. The comedian George Carlin once said in one of his shows that should mankind lose electricity it would result in a near apacolyps. society would break down into chaos. People would lose all morals. law enforcement would become useless, and i must say i agree. Our society is fully integrated with the technologies we have aquired, without them there would be nothing.

Importance of Hope

Recently i've stopped to really consider the importance of hope. Not something I do everyday, not something I think ANYONE does everyday. When you really stop to think about it though, hope is one of the most important aspects of our lives. Its what keeps us going, what makes us push ourselves, why we wake up in the morning.

Everyone, big and small, has a multitude of hopes everyday. One might hope they do not get hit by a car on the way to work. Or hope that the wife doesnt have a bad day at work, so one may enjoy the solitude of the night(or in the case of the wife, hope that the husband had a good day so he will maybe pull his weight around the house for once)

A big hope seems to be success. We all hope for success(well, most of us). Be it success in an idea we had, success in life. Winning the lotto. we all have Dreams. Hope and dreams seem to go hand in hand. And yet through most of our lives, though we continue to hope our dreams will come true, for most of us they never do. I for one hope daily that I will someday find someone who shares my views on the world and who isnt an evil manipulative blood sucker.(we all have to have dreams, mine happens to be a bit odd, so sue me)

The point is. Why is it we stick to the futility of hope? why dont we crack? what happens when we crack? is that what suicide is? or perhaps cracking is just depression? Lack of joy? When all hope is gone, do you even realize it? or is there only blackness?


I for one truely hope that the world does not lose hope. I feel it would be disasterous if we did.

Cursed by redundancy

Ever feel like everything in life is just one giant de ja vu loop? Gotta love those moments when everything in the world feels like it happened yesterday and like its probably going to happen tomorow as well.

Though I suppose there are a few way's of looking at it. After all, what defines tomorow, today, and yesterday? Time in general is just a definition of moments mankind has put together to help "ease" life. In reality though all time really does for us is make us worry, make us hurry, and make us late.

If we could all learn to accept the futility of measured time, the world would be a lot more interesting i think. Yes civilization would have a bit of a break down at first. But then after that breakdown, there is a chance. Its not an amazing chance, but there is a chance. That we will find an efficiency without time. People coming to work when they feel its the right moment to go to work, leaving when they feel its the right moment to leave. Shifts would create themselves, breaks would never be to long or to short. The day would move by smoother, People wouldnt feel rushed or confined and would as a result be happier about there work. If criticle moments came up, such as doctors opointments and what not, there would be no stress because not only would you have the "time" you needed off from work, but also your opointment would just be schedualed for a general moment, tell the doctor to expect you.

Now im not saying this is something to shoot for. And im not blind enough to fail to see the flaws in this design. Im not saying its a great idea. Im saying it's a pleasent idea. An idea where should it be implemented, and if it came to work as well as it could, everything in life would be smoother and more natural, things would be happier.

It would be interesting to see i think.

Not always

I've realized lately that things are not always what they apear to not always be. What i mean by that is. Sometimes we see something, and we instantly think to ourselves, "no, that cant really be true" and we look at it, untill we find an alternate truth to it. We're suspicious of things. But that is not always the case. Sometimes we find alternate truths to things that didnt need them. This in turn paints a light upon us that we are in some way paranoid. which then leads others to distrust us.

In fact, i have noticed that in some people, this blatent suspicion of the truth has become so second nature to them, that when it turns out that a rose was in fact just a rose, It aggrevates them. They feel like they were lied to just because there suspicions did not ring true. Which in turn makes them more suspicious of the next moment presented to them. It could be seen as a vicious cycle.

Its thus that I feel everyone should maintain a practice of assuming the best, and accepting the worst. Which is vastly different then "assuming the worst" because when you assume the worst, theres a good chance that your attitude of being prepared for the worst, will lead events to the worst. yes, if you should assume the worst and something good happens, its good. However i feel that most of the time if you assume the worst, even if the best thing happens, it will leave a bad taste in your mouth, because you were so ready for the world to end. My policy is to be prepared for the best possible outcome. Hope for the best. But be accepting. If everything goes to hell, there is nothing you can do about it except put on a smile and trudge through it.

The power of the smile and a positive outlook is vastly overlooked in today's day and age. The pecimistic attitude seems to be the "in" thing to adopt. I really feel this is a shame, as most situations can end very well if you are simply able to accept the bad, but see the overall good and be happy about it. Emotion is an extremly dangerious disease we humans carry. Our emotions tend to spread through people like wild fire. They are infectious, thus the number of smiles in the world need to outweigh the number of frowns, else a pecimistic dark view of the world is all we will have left.

A beginning

So here it is. This is a start. Where the end will be im not sure, we'll find out. Im a highly opinionated person, with highly opinionated opinions(go figure). Lets get this train wreck rolling.

Basicly i worry about us, us as a whole, mankind. Where are we heading? where will we go? Why are we so incredably stupid? and why cant we figure out how to use our immense mental power to do something constructive for once? These are the things i think about, nearly 24/7.

For the most part i have to admin, mankind isn't to bad off, you have to figure we've made it this far we have to be doing something right, right? Wrong. Pure luck and fear is the only thing that keeps us alive. We'd destroy eachother if we didnt think it would cause our own death as well, eventualy we're going to snap and just say its not worth it, and boom. All life as we know it is gone. In a matter of day's this could happen.

So I propose the question. Why? Why do we let ourselves do this? why do we give power to people that have this potential in mind? why is all our research and development focused on a) things that make us more lazy, more complient, and less likely to stand up. Or B) Things to kill people.

Its been shown in studies that dolphins possess a level of intellegence very similar to ours. They are self aware much like ourselves, they are one of the only species, if not the only other species, that will procreate for fun, rather then just for the purpose of reproduction. They are our sea born brothers and sisters. But they dont have weapons, they dont destroy eachother. They are content with what they have, and are generaly happy. Think about it, the dolphin is like the universal sign for a happy go lucky animal.

Yet they are intellegent. So why does our intellegence curse us with all of our draw backs? and theres simply provide them a means of being intellegent and enjoying life? Personaly i think we got the short end of the stick intellegence wise.